Them. It doesn't hurt Them.
We're in the final stages of weaning.
Soon my son will not be breast fed at all.
Months ago we let go of daytime nursing, and he had little issue with that.
It's the middle of the night nursing that he wants.
To be honest, so do I. I love the feeling of feeding my son, his little warm fuzzy head snuggled up against me.
However, I want him to sleep through the night, I want to sleep through the night, and this June I'm going to Chicago for two days without him.
So we are weaning.
Weaning the last middle of the night feedings.
We hate it.
The system I am using is to set specific times when I will go in and get him to nurse, and only get him at those exact times.
For example: I will go get him if he's crying at 10:30, but not before and not after until 2 am.
I only get up to nurse him twice (instead of the habitual four times a night).
In a week we'll cut it down to one, and hopefully by Easter it will be over.
My doctor, my mother, everyone says it doesn't hurt babies to cry.
I know it doesn't hurt him.
I hate hearing it.
After half an hour it isn't crying anymore, it's yelling.
Right now it is 10:17 and he has been crying for an hour.
Taking breaks in between to catch his breath, then "YAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGH!" some more.
I am writing this to steel my will.
I will not go and get him until 10:30.
It is 10:21. Nine minutes.
I wonder if people will read this and think I'm being cruel?
It feels like I am, but every single mother I have talked to has said that I'm not.
That he won't remember this.
It will not scar him.
In a few months time he'll be sleeping through the night.
I will think of that. Of sleeping through the night for the first time in months.
He slept through the night when he was a month old, and then around six months he stopped, what the hell was that about?
Six minutes.
I’m spending the next two weeks sleeping on the couch. Husband has trouble sleeping already (serious trouble...hospital sleep study trouble) so I don’t want the wailing through the monitor to kill the few hours he may get.
Four minutes. Still crying.
I realize I’m wearing the exact same tank top and hoodie I was when I did that meme I posted a while ago.
I realize that has nothing to do with the topic of this post.
I think it serves an as example of the distractions my brain is searching for as it clicks down the minutes (three) until I can go in and nurse.
God, he’s been crying for a long time.
I hope he’s worn himself out to sleep after this.
Two minutes.
Spell Check.
Aaaaaand...
Go!
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3 comments:
Wow, I didn't realize that you had been still doing feedings as much as 4 times a night!
This is hard - but will be so worth it, for both of you. You'll be granted a good night's sleep, and he'll be given the blessing of learning how to comfort himself.
Here is one mother who will NOT tell you that it doesn't hurt a baby to cry.
It is probably not want you want to hear, but it is the truth.
Why do you think your baby is crying?
He is crying for you.
What do you think he will learn if you do not answer his cries?
He will learn that when he cries, mommy does not come.
Is that what you want him to learn?
Babies are supposed to depend on their mothers to comfort them. That is what mothers do!
Of course you want to sleep through the night, and of course you want your baby to do so too. Weaning him from night nursings, however, only means that instead of nursing him back to sleep quickly, you are now wide awake for long periods listening to him scream.
There is a better way.
Don't worry now about the two nights you will be away in June - that is a long time from now in terms of your baby's life. A lot can happen between now and then.
Babies do not have wants, only needs.
Babies are not capable of manipulating anyone.
Babies have only one way of communicating that there is something wrong, by crying.
PLEASE listen to your baby!
I agree with Norma, up to a degree. That being that I think that it applies to babies - and that your little guy has now officially entered the realm of todderdom and he does have means for communicating beyond the act of crying.
I also know that my own parents let me cry it out, and I think I turned out pretty darn ok...and that I have no recollection of it whatsoever, and had a happy childhood and a good relationship with them as an adult
Soooo...yeah. There are books out there defending both sides of this spectrum (attachment parenting vs crying it out, etc) - but the reality is, it's your child, your family and your right to determine what is going to work best for you.
I would continue to do what you're doing, and not let Mommy-guilt get you down.
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