This is great.
This is freeing.
This means I can finally pack up the nursing bras and in a few months the size of my breasts will be consistent from day to day.
I can buy new bras.
Pretty new bras.
Lacy, pretty, new bras.
It hurts.
Not physically (well, yes...they are the size, shape and hardness of beer kegs and they're killing me, but that isn't what I mean to talk about).
It's the feeling of flesh being torn off slowly.
It's the feeling of warmth leaving my skin.
It's the feeling that comes when your child grows up.
I really loved to nurse.
I loved looking down at his big blue eyes, loved the doped little smile he would get when he was done, loved the way he would curl up and fall asleep with his soft peachy cheek next to my heartbeat.
I loved the knowledge that my body was still taking care of my baby.
I wish I'd paid more attention the last time I nursed him. I really didn't think when he finally got it, it would happen that fast. We went from screaming to be picked up every few hours click out cold for 12 and a half.
I didn't know the last time would be the last time.
3 comments:
This is a beautiful post - another milestone that's necessary for our children as they grow - but emotional for us.
Sadly, the only aspect that I can really relate to is the miserable hardness of beer kegs sentiment (have you tried cabbage in your bra to stop lactation? Supposedly it helps...I can't say for sure that it did for me. But it did make me smell like a boiled dinner...)
Really? Cabbage?
I don't really want to smell like a boiled dinner, but if it works, I'll try it!
Yeah, they say to break the leaves at the vein - it releases something that helps - and then put 'em in your bra. It's one of those old wives tales, that actually works for some women.
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